International Day of the Girl...I STAND!

Who are you standing for?

Today, October 11th, 2014 coincidentally is my nephews second birthday. He is an independent and adventurous child who "speaks" his mind and holds his own. He is already ahead of the game not having to envision dealing with the 2nd class status his age mates globally are dealing with. My role as an aunt is to contribute to his being raised as a boy who values girls, a young man who respects women, a husband who will see his wife as an equal, a father who will love his girl-child and boy-child the same, and most importantly a male advocate and global citizen fighting for social justice and freedom!

In his presidential proclamation, President Obama states "On International Day of the Girl, we stand with girls, women, and male and female advocates in every country who are calling for freedom and justice, and we renew our commitment to build a world where all girls feel safe, supported, and encouraged to pursue their own measure of happiness."

What is my reality? As I stand up as a girl standing up for other girls, I am free to breath, free to think. I did not have to put up a fight to get an education, and of May 15th 2014, I am a doctor. I have the freedom of expression, I can train for an upcoming half marathon running on the sidewalks and trails without fear for my life. My voice has been heard, and continues to be heard. 

I am treated as a first class citizen to the best of society's ability living in the United States, BUT I am still fighting for fair wages and to be treated as an equal at the table instead of dealing with sexual harassment in professional settings; BUT that is nothing in comparison to the fight of not wanting to be married off at the age of 9, not wanting to go through traditional rituals of female genital circumcision, not being able to go to school and be educated, falling prey to human traffickers, domestic violence, rape, my rights as a girl being violated every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every week, every month of every year! 

Enough is enough...this cycle has to end! A new day has to come to STAND UP, KEEP STANDING UNTIL THE PAST REMAINS THE PAST, THE PRESENT AND THE FUTURE REFLECT A WORLD OF EDUCATED, EMPOWERED, ENLIGHTENED girls living up to their full potential!

Malala spoke and stood up and this week was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize! We too need to stand up in solidarity...She is my #SHE Hero

I stand with 50/50 Leadership

I stand with UN Women

I stand with DAWN (Diaspora of African's Women Network)

I stand with CASE (Coalition Against Sexual Exploitation)

I stand with AAUW (American Association of University Women)

i stand with ALARM (African Leadership and Reconciliation Ministries)

I stand with Global Fund for Women

I stand with the daughters, sisters, aunts, mothers, grandmothers around the world

I stand as a girl who grew up

I stand up as a young lady finding my footing in the world

I stand as a future wife

I stand as a future mother

I stand as a mentor

I stand as a voice that will not be silenced

I stand because my sisters around the world need me to stand and KEEP standing!

I COULD...

Women’s health ~ Women’s empowerment

3^rd generation of women fighting for other women

I am a missionary kid who spent part of her life in  East Africa. I was aware of mothers losing their lives, or infants dying as pregnant women walked or were carried to hospitals so they could deliver.

My Nigerian name is Amalachukwu which means God’s grace, during my delivery I came out feet first making for a complicated delivery. I however, was blessed to be  born at the right place, at the right time in a missionary hospital with skilled health care professionals.

I could...

• Have easily been the infant that died at childbirth.
• Have been the child that did not make it to age 5 due to malnutrition, dysentery, cholera or malaria.
• Have been the pre-teen/teen girl, missing school during my period because of lack of access to feminine products.
• Have been that young lady forced into prostitution to support my family or raped and violated based on my gender.
• Have been the mother separated from her child during refugee camp displacement and subject to gender based violence.
• Have been the woman, giving birth to a son or daughter, with spina bifida because of lack of prenatal care.
• Have been the woman dying of breast or cervical cancer because of lack of health care access and prevention services.
• Be the woman today with no FREEDOM, no VOICE, no SAY, as to how many children I have or if I could get an education.
• Be a member of the community, with no clean water, no food to eat, affected by drought for years.

BUT by some chance I WAS not, and I AM not...

BUT my heart feels the plight, 

my eyes see the tears and pain, 

my ears hear the cries, 

and my mind imagines the suffering. 

I am taking action to do something, and make a difference. I am changing one life at a time and ensuring that everyone has access to the most precious commodity, and human right of all….HEALTH. Empowered people = Healthy people. I choose to live to be the health advocate, abolitionist for HIM, for HER, for THEM because it could have so easily been me…hoping and praying that someone out there will take the time and choose to be an advocate to save me so that I can live my life to its full potential.

© 2013

Ndinda Ngewa

Reflections after DEATH...

There is a time for everything,

And a season for every activity under the heavens:

A time to be born and a time to die...

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Reflections...

There is always that constant reminder that with life...there has to be death. With the recent passing of a loved one, I have been reminded again of this reality. Even in the midst of it all, as I ask why and pray for the loved ones left behind, God has been unchanging. I am thankful for the peace we have in Christ and the hope of seeing our loved ones again.

This was my reflection in February of this year "staring death in the face" (it could encourage YOU today...)

February 19th 2012:

One week ago I get a call from my sister about the death of one of my favorite musicians...reminiscing with one of my best friends as I told him the news, he said wow I cannot believe our favorite artist is gone...Whitney you are gone but forever in our hearts! That moment started a whirlwind of a week, 7 days of... no words can describe it.

Caught off guard by news of a loved one's diagnosis with breast cancer, a student attempting suicide on campus and being by scene as medics try to stabilize him. Heart aching for a best friend who happened to get there right after it happened, the shock anguish and questions. Four students standing as one, waiting for detectives to ask us questions about the incident. Pain for the roommate who has to deal with this...the silence was deafening as we felt the burden. Mustering enough calmness to pray, for his family, for him, and the rest of the campus. What do u do when u do not expect this to happen at your campus? We get so busy with academics wanting to make it professionally...are we really living? We are missing opportunities to see people and their pain. The attempted suicide came just a couple hours after receiving a text from yet another best friend...her friend committed suicide...why is there so much pain? Topping that off by spending Saturday in ICU with an aunt who is in heart failure realizing that just the night before she was at deaths’ door, but by the grace of God she is still alive. Standing there talking to her as she struggled to breath...having pneumonia as well, I could not help but wonder…Ndinda what r u living for? 

Am so blessed to know love and be loved. Waking up every day alive and healthy is a reason to party like there is no tomorrow. We have to make the best of our lives, taking the time to care for people and most importantly care for ourselves. Am a work in progress, and I know that God is not done with me yet...I am alive for a reason. I almost died at birth and my mom almost died giving birth to me. It is only by the grace of God I am here and hence my Nigerian name Amalachukwu which means God's grace. Over the last two years I have been in two accidents that could have left me dead or paralyzed but God has seen it fit for me to continue living out my destiny. There is so much suffering in the world from friends with parents in the hospital, to friends facing tough decisions, to survivors of human trafficking, to the sick fighting for their lives. I wish life did not come with pain but since it does, we have the role to be that friend that might save another person’s life. Smile because that might be what someone needs to keep living. When you ask someone how they are doing…take time to actually listen to their response. That could make a world of difference.

Life will for sure know you down...get up and keep trying and NEVER forget to be thankful!

Choosing FREEDOM

GET OUT AND VOTE TOMORROW!!

VOTE YES ON PROP 35

STOP HUMAN TRAFFICKING IN CALIFORNIA

LET US BE THE VOICE FOR THE VOICELESS

&

SEEK FREEDOM FOR THOSE ENSLAVED

Building Lasting Relationships

Building Lasting Relationships

Sharing my devotion from 10/29/12 from ucb devotional...

God's plan for your life always requires building relationships with the right people. To succeed, you must be able to recognize these people and work with them. Remember Jonathan, who loved David even at the cost of his own life? Or Ruth, who loved her widowed mother-in-law Naomi and gave her a reason to live again? Or Paul, who wrote, '...I have no man like Timothy. For all men seek their own...' (Philippians 2:19-21). God wouldn't say, 'It's not good that man should be alone,' then tell you to do it all by yourself. But there may be areas in your life that need to be healed before you can enter these relationships and enjoy them. There's a world of difference between 'using' relationships and 'heart-ties.' Blood-ties don't wear as well as heart-ties.

So allow God to work on you. When you are ready, He will make the necessary introductions. In the meantime, get to know Him better. Make His opinion the source of your self-worth. If your last relationship stripped you of worth and drained you spiritually, use this time to get back on your feet. You may never have this opportunity again. And one more thought: begin to love as God loves. He sees your imperfection, handles your rejection and loves you regardless. That should help you not to throw someone away because they made a mistake. You wouldn't discard your car over a faulty part, right? If God forgave you as you forgive others, what shape would you be in? Come on, let God teach you how to build lasting relationships.

I am not necessarily a fan of change, I love consistency in my life but over the years, I have come to realize that I cannot avoid change and not all change is bad.

The Strength of a Black Woman is EMPOWERING

A recent article with the title "The Strength of a Black Woman is Empowering" in the magazine Essence by Tyler Perry (TP) caught my eye.
In the November issue of Essence TP says " When Black women are down with you and in your corner, you have an ally that will move heaven and earth." says Perry. He often thinks about his late mother- "she loved from the purest place in her heart. The strength and power of a Black woman is empowering to me."

(http://www.essence.com/2012/10/10/tyler-perry-strength-black-woman-empowering)

I am at the point in my life where I cannot be more grateful for the women in my life who are in my corner. It is amazing that even through the thick and thin...they still hang around and are so instrumental in molding me into the woman after God's heart that I am trying to be. Today, I thought I will give a SHOUT out to them...

Liz Nkiruka Ngewa: my beloved mama and one of my best friends. I love you so much. You are truly the greatest mama in the world. You have shown me what being a woman of God looks like. Thank you for spanking me when I deserved it;) though I did manage to escape spankings a lot. Thank you for your love, your support, your encouragement and most importantly your PRAYERS that truly get me through everything. You have been my shoulder through the years, you have wiped away tears and rejoiced with me in the happy moments. You are such a woman of wisdom and when I grow up I want to be like you. Thank you for modeling what it is like to be a mom, wife, daughter, sister, and best friend.

Tabitha James Ngewa: my beloved grandma and lady who kept me in check because believe it or not, I have and always will be one mischievous girl. You are the woman of so many talents. I miss hearing your beautiful voice and cannot wait to see you again. I miss your cooking! I know grandpa is watching over you from heaven. Thank you for being the woman of strength in the Mutyandia clan. I am amazed by just how much you do and most importantly how you have been standing up for women who are oppressed your whole life. You are my hero and I am so blessed to be your granddaughter.

Christina Onyejegbu: My beloved grandma on my Naija side. You were an amazing woman and I am sad I was not able to meet you in person since you passed away more than 20 years before I was born but you were beautiful both inside and out.

Mary Peters: My grandma on my American side.  I miss you terribly grandma, it has been 4 months since you passed away. 10/23/12 would have marked your 91st birthday! You were amazing and so loving. Thank you for always being there for us and taking care of us when mommy was sick and daddy deep in his books working on his doctorate. Thank you for always taking time to clip coupons and mail them to us...I did not realize just what a pain clipping coupons can be but you send them all the time and I did not always appreciate them.

To my sisters:

Christine-Joy Mwende Ngewa Ross: OMG aka mama Bryan Muuo Chinonso Ross (what a mouthful...but you are a mommy now!!! 7 days of motherhood;). Thank you for always being there for me, you are the one who still packs a goody bag when I am traveling so I do not get hungry on the plane. You got mommy's strength...you are one strong lady and I truly admire you. You are one of the most creative people I know, the things you do is simply amazing and I wish I got part of that creative gene but I guess you took it all from mommy and daddy. Thank you for still spoiling me;) You are beautiful and loved! Looking forward to your going back to the operating room to continue to impress surgeons and nurses alike with your skills. I am going to have to take you with me to Africa on my medical missions.

Jennifer Stephanie Katee Ngewa: to one of the smartest people I know! I love it when you call me kiddo;). You have one of the most incredibly genuine spirit which is something I treasure. Thank you for always being the one who will make sure no one is left out when the rest of us are out there oblivious to it all. I pray that I can get more of that characteristic like you. I am so excited that you are in law school, you have found your calling and I cannot wait for you to be a children's advocate fighting for human rights, you have the heart and caring spirit for this. We owe each other a trip around Europe just living it up and enjoying God's creation, I am waiting for you to finish school so we can get to doing all that fun stuff and more. You are beautiful my dear sis and I love you to pieces.

Nicole Eloise Morgan McDermott: My Jamaican sister who shares a birthday with me aka mama Gracie and Joshua. I love your sense of humor and how you keep us happy and smiling as a family. Thank you that we can be crazy together, I love it! You wear so many hats and yet you keep it so calm, cool and collected and I admire that. You have no idea how blessed we are to have you in our lives. I love you Nicky!!

Hiyabel Tewoldemedhin: the baby of the family...well you are not a baby anymore but you are the lil sis. I am so blessed to call you my sister and to have you in my life. Thank you for keeping the fun in everything and living life to the fullest. It seems like you were 4 years old the other day, now you are all grown up in the working world doing amazing things. Truly beauty and brains...I am so proud of you and miss your sense of humor! Love you missie!!

Akosua Rhoda Nkansah-Obrempong: Where has the time gone? You really were 2 the other day sucking your thumb and we would try everything from putting hot pepper to bandages on your thumb to get you to stop lol...I cannot believe for the first time in so long we are on two different continents. I thank God for the woman of God you are continuing to become and how He is using you in Kenya. I am so proud of your business mind and praying for you like crazy. I do miss you though, I miss our heart to hearts...I miss our inside jokes and how we love to live life and have fun. I miss our crazy food concoctions that turn out to be absolutely delicious. I pray that God will continue to bless you and grant you the desires of your heart.

Regina Hayden: You keep it real...always have and always will and I love that about you. Thank you for being my big sister through the years and keeping laughter in our midst. There is definitely never a dull moment with you. Thank you for modeling being a mama and sharing your kids D and D with us. Thank you for filling mom's shoes when she left and hosting Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners at your house. It truly means the world to me keeping up with our family tradition. You are such a blessing and we love having your in our lives.

Sophie Nduku Munyao Okello: Miss "ophie" aka mama Sean. You bring the music to the house with your talented voice and you have such an infectious laughter and I love it! Thank you for being such a caring sister and being there for all of us 24-7. Thank you for always checking up on the parents, it means a lot. I am so blessed to have you in my life and love you lots:)

To my besties:

Betty Mihayo Daniel Nungwana Mlaki: My bestie since I was 3 and a half years old. Girl, we have come a long way. Thank you for calling today!! So crazy we have been on different continents for more than 15 years but we do not miss a beat. I LOVED hearing my niece Haika chatting about in the background. I cannot wait to meet her. It is such a blessing to hear how much you love motherhood, it SO suits you!!:). You are such a gem and I treasure you. Our song by Whitney Houston and Cece Winans still holds true today more than ever..."Count of me through thick and thin, a friendship that will never end. When you are weak, I will be strong...helping you to carry on..."

Semeyian Namelok Nassei: How did I manage to have a best friend who was always at the top of the class and I was the one getting into all sorts of trouble with my posse. My beautiful Kenyan-Tanzanian sister from another mother. You made junior high a memorable experience for me in Ngong Hills:). I cannot believe I have not seen you since I was 12 but I am so grateful that we have managed to keep in touch and maintain our friendship. I am honestly waiting for our reunion because it will be like old times you being the voice of reason haha. I love you my dear and thankful for how to modeled what it is like to be a women on a mission, with a vision and a plan. You planted a seed in me that has enabled me to focus on being a student and not taking education for granted. I am sure you are surprised that something good rubbed off on me because it was like I was always in detention, being punished for being hecka rude to teachers or being chased around by a teacher because I stole his stick to punish people...haha the memories!!

Sheridan M. Richards: I can honestly say you are the most genuine person I know. Thank you for being one of my favorite people and being incredibly beautiful on the inside and the outside. I am so happy God created Red Robin restaurant because I was able to meet you at one and God started a friendship and sisterhood that has truly been held me up through all these years. Thank you for being someone I can look up, and I am so excited that I am learning what it looks like to be a wife and mother living in God's will. I have learned so much for you and I wish there were more REAL people like you in this world!

Sherryann Taylor-Santos: I am grateful for the years of friendship and for the growth and just having someone who has my back. I appreciate all you do and who you are. It seems like yesterday we were just out of high school and biochemistry majors at CSUF. I am so glad that we were able to connect them, being some of the few female black students did pay off;) In a few months, I can officially call you Dr. Taylor-Santos. I am so proud of you! Sorry for ditching you on the MD path but once I convince you to follow me to Kenya lol we can bring health back to so many communities out there. Thank you for the 411 on all the new Dorito flavors;)

Fiona Lewis: My Guyanese sister without you there will be no trio here at Loma Linda University. You are such a beautiful person and you keep me in check. Thank you for being a lady of prayer and modeling what it looks like to walk in Christ. I love it that we can be serious, goofy and crazy at the same time and not drive each other crazy. I am learning so much from you, what it means to be focused and yielding to God's plan in my life. Thank you for taking care of me and looking out for me, and even for FORCING me to eat my lettuce!! Who does that? someone who cares...and I know you do. I am blessed to have you in my life and that God brought us to Loma Linda for a reason:)

Tracy-Ann Dawes Daniels: My Jamaican sister the other part of the trio here on campus. To say that you do it all is an understatement. I admire how you balance so much and still manage to keep a smile on your face and take care of everyone. I am so blessed that you are in my life and I can learn from you. It is great to have genuine people in my circle such as yourself. You keep us happy and cracking up with your sense of humor and I love it:). I am truly looking forward to see how God is going to continue using you for his kingdom. You are truly a force to be reckoned with!

To the lady who is sister, friend, manager and everything else:

Corrie Lynn Osuna: my dear Cor, if I could bottle your energy and sell it, I would be a billionaire. I cannot believe I have only known you for a few years because honestly it is like we have been friends and sisters forever. Now, you are superwoman and no one can deny that. I am perplexed at how you do ALL you do! You have such a caring heart and you have been a huge blessing in my life. Looking forward to seeing your fashion designs in France, Italy and all over the world because you are amazing! I still cannot believe you woke up that one day and decided to make a dress for yourself..before I could blink it was done and you rocked it!!! I am honestly still laughing because it was like you zapped me into a different time zone and did your magic and we were walking out the door with you wearing your just made dress haha.

Running FROM or TOWARDS something...

DECISION NOT TO GIVE UP

Maybe not 1996 in Atlanta because they do not have junior-junior Olympics, but possibly Sydney 2000, Athens 2004, Beijing 2008 or London 2012. Running in the Olympics and representing my country (Kenya) has always been one of my hearts desire and life’s goal that I have unfortunately been unable to obtain.

Coming from a background of athletes (having a mother for a track star and father for a soccer star), I believed it was an innate notion to be an athlete, and I became an athlete in my own rights, blessed with the speed and endurance but was content with being a tad bit above average because I figured if I pushed myself to be great, I no doubt would have made it but at the risk of possibly not enjoying myself anymore. I was blessed to have a trainer who qualified for and ran the Boston Marathon on numerous occasions, a feat that is achieved by a few and takes a mentally tough runner to get to the point of running past the “wall” and pushing to the end. Today, I have reignited that goal of running the Boston Marathon hopefully in April 2014.

I know myself to be resilient, through my running years I have had to bounce back from both physical and emotional pain especially after major injuries or surgeries that sidelined me for what seemed like eternity. Some people live, eat, breathe music….as for me running became part of my life, bouncing back was not always easy but everything was put back into perspective knowing that there is another immediate goal ahead that needed to be accomplished and not just accomplished but done so successfully.

I have asked myself many times if I am able to remain focused on the race even especially when approaching the last miles in a race, the last stretch on a run when every muscle in my body is screaming for me to quit, stop and throw in the towel. At times when I run, I cannot help but ask myself what I am getting myself into…why did I decide to run the full marathon instead of the half but I have fostered my ability to focus in the face of pain, aches, fear, anxiety, self-doubt and more often than not the unexpected…how to remain focused when a race day prediction of comfortable weather erupts into a stormy day of thunder, lightening and rain so loud one could hardly hear themselves think…to run and COMPLETE the race, FOCUS becomes the mantra to weather all the storms both literally and figuratively that life may throw my way. 

When I think of life, I think of it as a marathon. We are all in this race called LIFE and it is up to us to live the best lives we can and live every day to the fullest and find and do something we are passionate about because we only live ONCE!! Make your life count today...I know I am constantly challenging myself to be not just above average but SUPERIOR in every aspect of my life...you should do too:)

I have chosen to strive to create a future WITHOUT breast cancer and oppression of women...what do you choose?

09/30/12

Celebrating breast cancer survivors

Hosted by Loma Linda Cancer Center & Department of Plastic Surgery